It was a video that
got the attention of people all over the world.
The 10-minute YouTube clip, which went viral last week,
shows a group of young teenagers taunting, ridiculing, verbally abusing and
threatening their elderly bus monitor on a school bus in Greece, New York.
The kids were cruel and relentless. "Oh my god,
you're so fat," they said over and over again. "Put your glasses back
on, I can't stand looking at your face." "You f***ing fat ass, look
at all this flab right here." "Do you have herpes?" "What's
your address so I can piss all over your door?" "If I stabbed you in
the stomach, my knife would f***ing go through like butter, because it's all
f***ing lard."
The victim, 68-year-old Karen Klein, has received an outpouring
of love and support from people who were shocked and outraged by the bullying.
They have sent her cards, flowers, teddy bears. The website Indiegogo.com,
which originally hoped to raise $5,000 to give Karen a vacation, has received
over $630,000 from close to 30,000 donors from all over the world. Karen has
also been offered free trips to Hawaii and Disneyland, a cruise and a new car.
While Karen has been getting a lot of love, her
tormentors-four boys ages 13 to 14-and their families have been the object of
anger, hate mail and death threats.
"I'm sorry," said Robert Helm, the father of
one of Klein's bullies, in an interview on the TV show "Inside
Edition." "This is not the way I raised my kids. I never would have
in my wildest dreams think that they were capable of anything like this."
The incident brought to light a rarely discussed aspect
of bullying-children tormenting adults.
It's a problem that isn't often addressed-because adults
are often embarrassed to admit that they have lost control and are being
bullied by a child.
Adults often make excuses for bad behavior: They're
childish pranks, they're just having fun, they're just being cute, they're kids
being kids. But you have to draw the line between immature fun and bullying.
Regular aspect
Karen Klein's story isn't as unique as we'd hope.
Children are bullying not only other children-they can bully adults, too.
In an article on CNN.com, Hannah Weinberger wrote,
"School workers say it's a regular aspect of their daily lives."
It happens in the Philippines, too.
"We thought we were just high schools kids having
fun," said Marie, a former student in an all-girls Catholic high school.
"We'd play pranks on teachers, we'd play games while classes were going
on, we'd completely ignore the teachers when they walked into class. But one
day, we made our geometry teacher cry. That's when I realized it wasn't just
fun. We were being cruel."
Joey, a graduate of a co-ed high school, shared something
similar. "We had a science teacher everyone made fun of. All the boys
called her "horse" and mocked her because they said she looked like
one. She knew about it, she suffered for two years but didn't confront any of
them."
And this happens not only in schools.
Andrew, now 26, remembers being punished as a child for
slapping his yaya. "When I was young, I wasn't very nice to the household
help. We had an elderly maid who avoided me because I liked scaring her. I used
to electrocute her with this little clicker thing I had." His parents
think of those incidents as occasional acts of misbehavior but Andrew thinks he
was a bully. "I'm not proud of it," he said.
Bullied
Kids bully their parents and grandparents, too.
Parentline Plus (now called Family Lives), a national
helpline in the UK, reports that in 2008, 1,200 calls were made by parents
reporting abuse by their children. Most of the perpetrators were 13 to 15 years
old. In some instances, parents claimed to live in fear of their children.
Earlier this year, at a dinner party in Manila,
seven-year-old Freddie walked up to his grandfather to ask for money. When his
grandpa asked him to wait until dinner was over, he said, in front of all the
guests, "What's your problem? Just give me the money. I just want to buy a
book." His grandfather gave him the money.
When your child throws a tantrum in the mall to get you
to buy whatever it is that he wants, he (or you) may not realize it, but it is
a form of bullying. He is trying to coerce you into doing something you
otherwise wouldn't. CafeMom.com writes, "We've all seen it at restaurants,
out shopping, at the playground, at school, even at home: Kids are bullying
their parents, teachers and care givers."
Encouraging a child to voice out his or her opinions,
giving them leverage and letting them enjoy freedom is one thing. Allowing them
to boss you around, manipulate you and abuse you is another.
CafeMom.com says, "Don't settle for unruly children
at home. It spills over."
According to RaisingTroubledKids.com, parents who see
signs of bullying must make a stand. "Declare bullying unacceptable. Pull
rank and apply a consequence. You cannot let their harassment continue because
they will use it on others."
Pam Pastor
Philippine Daily Inquirer/Asia News Network
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